Beth Zalantai, MSc, is a clinically trained mental health professional with extensive experience delivering and supervising evidence-based psychological care. As a mom and therapist, Beth provides compassionate support for moms navigating their mental health.
If you’re feeling completely drained, whether it’s mentally, emotionally, physically, or all three, you may be experiencing mom burnout. Your patience may wear thin more quickly, and you might find yourself snapping at your kids or struggling to stay present. These moments often come with guilt—guilt for losing your temper, for not savoring the moment, or for feeling like you’re not the parent you want to be.
Burnout can leave you feeling disconnected from the people you love, not because you don’t care, but because you’ve been giving so much of yourself for so long, without enough time to restore. And when the demands exceed what one person can reasonably handle, it’s easy to start feeling like you’re failing, even though you’re doing more than enough.
We want you to know: You are a good parent. And you’re also a whole person. When so much of your energy goes into caring for others, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are beyond the role of “mom.” But reconnecting with yourself, even in small ways, can help you start to feel more grounded, more patient, and more like you again. Let’s discuss some steps you can take to start feeling better, both in the moment and over time.
When you’re feeling burned out, even simple things can feel overwhelming. You might know you need a break, but not know how to make it happen. In these moments, it’s not about doing more; it’s about finding small ways to give yourself what you need.
You don’t need a full day off to start feeling better. Even a few minutes of connection with yourself can make a difference. Here are some ideas to help you create a little time and space for yourself, even in the middle of everything else you’re managing:
If your baby is in a crib or your child is in a safe space, it’s okay to step away. Even if they cry for a few minutes while you shower or sit in silence, that doesn’t make you a bad parent. Taking care of yourself is not selfish. If you’re at the brink of anger or frustration and you need a few moments to yourself, it’s safer for both you and your child for you to step away until you’re feeling better. Sometimes, giving yourself a time-out is the most loving choice you can make for your family.
It’s okay to let your kids watch a show while you do something for yourself. You’re not taking the easy way out; you’re giving yourself what you need so you can show up more fully later. Think of it this way: you can push through without a break, but you might end up feeling more distracted or impatient with your kids. Giving yourself just half an hour to decompress can help you return feeling more present and emotionally available.
You’re a mom, but you’re also still you. Beyond the daily tasks and responsibilities, you have hobbies, interests, and social needs that matter.
Connecting with yourself can happen in small, simple ways throughout your day. Maybe it looks like listening to an audiobook or podcast while folding laundry, getting some fresh air and exercise by pushing your child in a stroller or pulling them in a wagon, or chatting with a friend at the park while your kids play together.
What are some things you can do to connect with yourself while still caring for your family? These moments don’t have to be long or complicated. Even a five-minute meditation to help you feel refreshed and grounded is a great place to start.
That’s what the Moment for Parents app is here for. It offers quick check-ins, guided reflections, and meditations designed to help you reconnect with yourself at your own pace. Take a moment for yourself today. Try the app for free here.
Chores don’t have to wait until naptime or bedtime. Involving your children in daily tasks not only creates opportunities for you to get things done, but it can also give children a sense of pride to help out with “grown-up” things. When you need to wipe down counters, hand your child a sponge and let them “help.” These small moments not only let you spend quality time together but also turn chores into shared activities. Plus, when kids pitch in, it frees up your naptime and bedtime to be moments for you to rest and recharge.
You don’t have to put your hobbies or interests on hold just because you’re a parent. Find ways to include your child in activities you love. If you enjoy music, turn on your favorite playlist and dance together. If crafting or baking is your thing, invite them to join in and make it a shared experience. You don’t need to entertain your child every minute. Sharing what brings you joy can be a meaningful way to bond with your child while reconnecting with yourself.
You’ve probably heard the advice to “ask for help” when you’re feeling burned out. But what if you don’t have family nearby, or the people in your village aren’t available to help? And for some tasks or activities, you might want to do them yourself rather than hand them off to someone else.
Over time, the goal is to build a life that supports you, not just one you survive. That means creating systems of support that fit your unique needs and your reality, so you can feel sustained, not stretched thin. Here are some ideas to consider for the long run:
Building a supportive village doesn’t mean you need family nearby or a large group of friends. Your village can be made up of all kinds of people and places. Here are some ways to expand your network and get the support you need from your community:
If you’re feeling burned out, consider asking yourself: What am I expecting of myself right now, and is it sustainable?
Many parents carry the belief that they need to be fully engaged with their children every moment they’re together. If you hold this expectation, take a moment to reflect on where this expectation came from. Ask yourself: Is this realistic? And is it truly serving me and my family? Consider how it might look to adjust that expectation to be more compassionate to your needs. Maybe it means giving yourself permission to simply share space with your child, being near them without always needing to be “on.”
Even when you know that prioritizing your needs helps you show up with more patience and presence, guilt can still creep in. If you feel guilty for caring for yourself, take a moment to explore what expectations might be fueling that feeling. Are they truly yours—or ones you’ve internalized from elsewhere? What expectations could you let go of to make space for your own care? Adjusting your expectations doesn’t make you less of a parent; it helps you be a more grounded, present one.
If you’re looking for space to reflect, the Moment for Parents app offers space to explore your expectations, connect with your values, and feel confident in the choices you make as a parent. Try it for free here.
Remember, you deserve moments of rest. You deserve to feel like yourself again. And you deserve a life that supports your well-being, not just your to-do list.