Parenthood often feels like an endless to-do list. But here's the truth: you don’t have to do it all, and you definitely don’t have to do it perfectly.
Instead, consider adjusting your expectations. Not everything needs to be done right now, and “good enough” is often more than enough. A messy house? Normal. Slow replies to texts? Totally fine. The goal isn’t perfection – it’s balance. Here are a few approaches to find more balance in your to-do list:
You're not alone if you're feeling swamped. But with a few mindset shifts and gentle planning tools, you can move through the overwhelm with more calm, clarity, and compassion.
As Anne Lamott, author, political activist, public speaker, and writing teacher, says:
Expectations are resentments under construction.
New York Times bestselling, award-winning co-authors and sisters, Emily and Amelia Nagoski, on self-compassion:
This is the tragedy of the madwoman. She whips us, and we achieve things. And so we think the whipping is why we achieved things and we’ll never achieve anything without the whipping.
This is the most common reason we hear when people resist self-compassion. They’re worried that if they stop beating themselves up, they’ll lose all motivation, they’ll just sit around watching Real Housewives of Anywhere and eating Lucky Charms in a bowl full of Bud Light.
This argument doesn’t stand up to even the most superficial investigation. Are we really working toward our goals only because we’ll torture ourselves if we stop, so that as soon as we put down the whip we’ll sink into eternal apathy? Of course not. In fact, it’s the opposite: We only whip ourselves because our goals matter so much that we’re willing to suffer this self-inflicted pain if that’s what it takes. And we believe that because we’ve always done it that way, it must be why we’ve accomplished as much as we have.
Diligent practice of self-compassion works; it lowers stress hormones and improves mood. And many years of research have confirmed that self-forgiveness is associated with greater physical and mental well-being. All without diminishing your motivation to do the things that matter to you.
from Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
How might you adjust your expectations this weekend?
Learn additional ways to manage expectations through the Managing Stress Journey in the Moment for Parents app.